On a beautiful fall day as I was canning, one of my sisters who happened to be visiting, approached me with the idea of doing a service blog with our four sisters. When she first approached me, my thoughts were “no way, I am so overwhelmed with life, there is no way I could find time or even want to find time to do this. Plus, what could I offer? I am a horrible writer--my mom wrote all my high school papers, I can’t take a good picture, and don’t have much of a creative streak in me.” What I told her was that I would like a couple of days to think about it and I would get back to her.
Well, that night as I lay in bed, I was unable to sleep, and my mind started wandering to all the experiences I have had with service. I thought about times I had served others, as well as others who had served me. My mind kept going and going until I knew that I needed to write down all the thoughts I was having. I got up at about 1:00 in the morning and began what I call “My Service Journal.” I wrote stories, thoughts, ideas and sometimes just enough so I could remember the experience. I wrote for about two hours. The more I wrote, the faster the experiences came. When I finally crashed at about 3:00 in the morning, I fell right to sleep and slept longer than I had in months. This may not seem like an incredible thing, but for someone who is struggling with depression, it was so needed. I woke up for the first time in months without the normal fog that had been invading my brain for years. I knew that morning that God had helped me to clear the fog and wanted me, for some reason, on this path. I knew that He wanted me to add this to my plate and that I had something to offer.
Sometimes I still wonder what it is that I have to contribute, but I am reminded of that morning without the murkiness in my brain. I am also grateful to “My Service Journal” that I started. It’s existence has added to my healing. I am constantly adding experiences that I have had, ideas that have come to me, and stories I hear of others serving around me. I have noticed as I focus on serving others the way God would want me to, that darkness that I have been experiencing for months, is turning into light. As we serve others, we forget our own burdens, at least for a few minutes. Service helps us see new perspectives and gain love for those we assist.
In writing this, I was reminded of a poem my mother taught me as a little girl:
"Giving is living," the angel said,
"Go feed the poor, sweet charity's bread.“
"And must I keep giving again and again?”
My selfish and querulous question rang.
"Oh, no," said the angel; his eyes pierced me through.
"Just give, 'till the Savior stops giving to you."
There is always someone who can use a little light in their lives, maybe their fog can be cleared for a few hours as we serve them. Let’s Serve.
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