As I struggle to sleep tonight, my thoughts have turned to the happenings of today. It was a great day, one of those days when all the hard days of motherhood melt into one magical moment. A moment that seems to wipe away all the difficult challenges we face raising kids, and makes everything worth it. Let’s start with the backstory. My daughter had ordered several packages from amazon for Christmas for her roommates and she had them delivered to our home, which is about 40 minutes from where she goes to college. Every time she looked at the expected date, Amazon confirmed they would arrive on the last day she was going to be up at school. She said she just kept praying that they would come early, because she didn’t want to figure out how to get them to her friends. She knew some of them weren’t coming back next semester. We told her that even if we got the packages at 8pm that last day we could deliver them to her that night.
Well, my daughter’s prayers were answered, and the package arrived yesterday (two days earlier than expected), but right in the middle of a snowstorm. She wanted to come down last night to pick them up, but because of the weather, I encouraged her not to. I quickly changed my plans for today and told her that I had things I needed to do by the college, and I would meet her in the afternoon, that way she would have time to take the last of her finals. When I arrived on the scene about 1:30pm, I gave her a quick call to ask her where I should park and see if she wanted to go to lunch. She asked if I would come up and help her first. When I reached her apartment, I found her in tears. She had cried three times that morning. Her apartment needed to be cleaned for inspection by 4:00 pm and she was overwhelmed with the instructions the apartment owners had given her.
I asked a couple of questions and jumped in and helped her get things ready. We figured out how to tackle the problem areas. Most of the important things had already been done, but she couldn’t see it. With my help and some advice from the roommates we had everything done by 2:30. It went so quickly. Within that hour she had a smile on her face, and we headed to a much-needed mother and daughter luncheon. We laughed, ate great food, relaxed, and talked.
All the way home, I thanked God for inspiring me to clear my day and make time for her. It wasn’t that big of a deal for me, but for her it was huge. I was so grateful to be there in the moment she needed. It was so much easier when they were at home to be there and serve them. It isn’t often after the children leave home, that we can save the day for them; that we can be their superhero.
This child is my baby and leaving the nest has caused my husband and I to become empty nesters. Lately I have been pondering the concept of whether or not my children need me. Sometimes I do feel lost, but I am grateful for moments like today; I am grateful to be reminded that they still need and want us in their lives. Serving adult children is a lot different than serving our kids when they are young.
Here are a few things I have learned about serving adult children:
Love them no matter what decisions they make in their lives. If they know you love them, then when they really need something, they will come to you.
Find ways to be in their lives, visit them, take them to lunch, get to know their friends, take them shopping. They don’t always want to make time for you, but if you are creative enough, they will allow you to come, especially if it includes food and they don’t have to pay. 🙂
Encourage phone calls, let them know you are interested in what is happening to them.
Play games with them. Making a fun environment seems to help them relax, open up and talk about things.
Ask them for advice, it makes them feel like adults.
We love planning outings to spend time together. We have been to Yellowstone, College sporting events, museums, amusement parks and even apple orchards. Anything that will help us make great memories.
Sometimes it means learning new skills. One of my sons is dating a girl that has Celiac Disease. I have taken the time to learn how to cook without gluten so they will spend more time with us. I have also had to download the Pokemon Go app on my phone, so I could learn to speak my boy’s language.
We love our adult children and are learning how to communicate and serve them. The best thing I have learned about serving my adult children is that what they really need is TIME. I love spending time with them and finding ways to make them happy. I love being with them and I want them to enjoy being home. Serving my family is worth every moment. Let’s Serve.
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